The Developer's Model for Talking to Managers
summary
Explains a practical communication toolkit: use a distance/sphere of control to decide how direct to be, name and apply the ego state model (Adult/Parent/Child) and the drama triangle (Victim/Rescuer/Persecutor), and practice a measured two-second pause. Walks through concrete scenarios — interrupting strangers on a train, negotiating 4 vs 8 vs 13 sprint estimates with sales, and four reactions to a client-reported API bug — and recommends offering ranked options instead of flat “no,” onboarding teammates’ triggers, and stepping out when emotions hijack reasoning.
AI-written summary · about
chapters (13)
- 0:00Introduction and story
- 2:37Why interrupt conversations
- 8:08Relationship distance model
- 11:24Serenity Prayer in work
- 13:58Saying no vs offering choices
- 17:14Switching roles with sales
- 19:09API client complaint scenarios
- 24:13Ego state model explained
- 27:33Drama triangle in action
- 31:23Brain’s emotional vs rational centers
- 34:24Two-second pause technique
- 35:50Takeaway: Be the best you
- 36:12Q&A session
related talks
36mThe Developer's Model for Talking to Managers
05mCommunication - Learning How to Communicate Effectively
37mFixing the mistakes we -all- make as developers, leaders and teams
24mBalancing direction and empowerment
45mPorting Your Thoughts
27mThe Games Developers Play
56mSoft Skills for the Developer
59mEmpowering Soft Skills with Team Dynamics/Communication Skills